Thursday, August 18, 2011


Well, this word of the day thing didn't last very long...! So, as I contemplate failure over the next several days, I will yet again take a respite from this blog. Maybe I should retire it altogether? 50 in 50 has a purpose. But the purpose of this one is...? Maybe that is at the heart of failure. Lack of purpose. Thoughts?

Is anyone out there?

Monday, August 8, 2011


Today's word is laughter because I have found that has become one of my favorite defining attributes. I don't know if other people see me as someone who laughs often, but I think I do, and I'm glad I do.

Last night I went to Kennywood with friends, and realized that instead of screaming on rides, I tend to break into nonstop laughter. Maybe it's nerves, or maybe it's something else. Maybe I have been taught by wonderful people in my life that laughing at yourself and the situations around you is often the best way to cope. Maybe that lesson and the joy in my life make laughter my most natural response. And it's important for me to remember that while laughter may come from joy, joy often comes from laughter.

I know I am lucky to have so many reasons to laugh, and luckier still that I have faith, relationships, and a lifetime of experiences that keep me laughing, even if just at myself.

Friday, August 5, 2011


Today's word is freedom. I am doing a 30-day prayer thing right now and freedom was today's theme. Like so many words, freedom means different things to different people. Those of us with wealth may see freedom as the luxury to choose what to do with our time, where to go, or whom to be with. Those under oppressive regimes, incarcerated, or suffering from disease would see freedom as a dire, constant need and struggle. Freedom is typically something I take for granted, and may even see as an annoyance-- too many options, too many choices to make. What a ridiculous thought! Today I will be thankful for the freedoms in my life, and think of ways I can use the opportunities I am given to fight for the freedoms of others. Freedom of movement, freedom of choice, freedom of spirit, economic freedom, domestic freedom, and so much more...

...may we all someday be free...

Thursday, August 4, 2011

A little less talk, a lot more action

Not only similar to a great karaoke song, but a good mantra, inspired by yesterday's post.

It is funny how life works. Shortly after typing and posting yesterday's comments about my desire for action (action that will make me feel productive, action that makes a difference and inspires others to act), I got an email that may lead me to the opportunity to take part in all that I have been looking for. It may also require a significant sacrifice.

So what to do?

Make today's word action of course, and while the only step right now can be thought (as the opportunity is still in the works, and nowhere near definite right now) I can be preparing myself for action. Taking the little steps that could lead to a bigger one. And be thankful that my thoughts have been gearing me up for moments such as these.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Musings of An Almost-Maybe-Someday-Pastor

Introspection may be the word of my life. I think I am going to start picking a word of the day for the rest of this month and attempting to blog about each. Since I just thought of this idea, I will cheat and start today with this word of my life.

So. Introspection.

I wish I were the kind of person who was defined by action, but I don't think I always am. Yesterday I was given the title "SpazDancer" and that sort of obviously implies action, but I am talking less of the act-like-a-crazy-person-in-public-just-because-I-think-it's-fun kind of action and more of the get-people-together-and-do-things-that-make-a-difference kind of action. I think I can be good at getting people together. I tend to build connections with multiple crowds and can gather people based on activities. In high school a friend called me the "coordinator of fun" (which incidentally does not sound that fun...maybe the word coordinator takes the edge off) and in AmeriCorps I was known as the one to get everyone to play games. I'm a team-builder, an encourager, and a communicator. Yet, most of my getting people together involves social activities, reflection, and not necessarily social action. I think I can tip these scales. I just need to take action. And yet I think first. I want a plan.

So I muse.

I ponder.

I dream of making a difference and have yet to feel that I have actually done so.

As a candidate in the PC(USA), I am moving toward (or at least frozen in a point very close to) being ordained. I think my time in Seminary has drawn me closer to a lifestyle committed to calling myself and others to action. I'm not there yet and I don't always know what is holding me back. Yet, truthfully, while I believe I have gifts that lend themselves to ministry and would be honored to be called to a position, I don't mind if I end up non-ordained as long as I am doing what I believe God wants me to do. So what that is exactly? I have yet to find the answer.

So I continue to think.

And I wonder if I am somehow a pastor in my life in other ways. What does it mean to pastor as a lifestyle and can I acheive that without the job title? What ways do I need to make changes and who can join me in my ponderings? How can I begin taking action quicker and pair my introspection with meaningful movement?

I don't want to give answers to these questions just yet as part of the beauty of questions is the ability to let them be. They don't always call for an answer. They just poke their heads out and say, hey, here I am...look at me. So I look. And I think. And I seek. And hopefully soon, I will act.